A customer left behind a schedule book from Miami-Dade College, and being the upstanding citizen I am, I did not simply throw it away. I did, however, take a look inside, so as to gain insight into the mind of the owner, to understand what might have driven her to leave behind a schedule book.

From afar, we can see the different colors hilighting various appointments. Based on the content, orange appears to be personal calls, or pro-bono work, blue is obviously school-related, as are those appointments without any coloring. Everything hilighted in pink reers to financial obligations or purchases. And, finally, everything hilighted in green is business-related. I must thank my assistant for using her feminine insight to decode the method to this girl's hilighting madness.

What I discovered turned out to be quite dark, and quite shocking to some.

First, we see what appears to be several ISBN numbers and prices. Because this was at the beginning of the semester, we shall assume the owner of this schedulebook was in the process of purchasing her textbooks. Since two are scratched out, we shall assume that she has either already purchased these books, or already dropped out of the classes for which she needed them.

Upon investigating the ISBN's listed, the first textbook turned out to be Contemporary Business, by Louis Boone and the third book was Music Business Handbook and Career Guide, by David Baskerville. This leads me to determine that the owner of this book is studying business and perhaps music.

This is where the content of this schedule book begins to become slightly disturbing, when viewed in the context of the entire schedule book.

We see that on the 4th of September, and on the 5th of September (Labor Day), this person was sheduled to meet with someone named Ralph. This could be as innocent as a study date, but the investigator in me tells me otherwise. After all, two four-hour study sessions at the beginning of the semester? At Miami-Dade College, known to have one of the least rigorous curriculums in academia? This does not add up.

Furthermore, as my astute assistant pointed out to me, those items hilighted in green must refer to money. Women do not take hilighting lightly, so there was bound to be a reason behind each color. With this, we now know that this meeting with Ralph is not so much a study date as a client meeting.

Only after looking at several entries in this schedule book can we begin to understand its owner. Let's see the day of September 14th, for example:

She was to call Delta, presumably this is Delta Airlines, and this call was either to book a flight or to reschedule one. Note that this was never scratched out, meaning she likely failed to call them that day. Also of note is the fact that it is not hilighted at all. Since this is a school notebook, apparently school-related entries are not hilighted. Next, we have "call student life", obviously school related. Finally, she was scheduled for a 1:00 PM meeting with a Beth at "Angel Counter".

The meeting with Beth, hilighted in green, is obviously business related. This "Angel Counter" could be a name, or nicknamee of a club, and perhaps Beth is her contact there. It appears that this college student has a meeting at a club to discuss her prospects; perhaps she is getting her client list?

Here we see, just before the frist two four-hour meetings with Ralph, a third meeting with Ralph, this one for six hours. There are many other long meetings with this Ralph found throughout the month of September.

Following this is a four hour meeting with "JV", which is a common acronym for "junior varsity", the back-up players in high school and college sports. At this point, you might be thinking, "why are these appointments listed not by their start time, but by hours?" This is a person who is more concerned with the length of her meetings than when they actually begin, meaning that they are likely flexibly scheduled.

At this time, I have no option but to conclude that this is a girl who has been drawn into a life of prostitution, and is likely a "high class" call girl. Ralph seems to be her main client, and perhaps she was scheduled for whatever party this junior varsity team must have planned. Finally, Corduroy could be the name of a club she is to perform at, or perhaps a nickname for another client.

The fact that this girl is going to college means that there is hope for her, but the fact that it is a small-time college means that she doesn't have the means to attend a better institution. I'm sure she didn't mean to become a call girl. Perhaps she is a single parent who needed the money. Whatever the reason, we can only imagine the devistating effect of her losing this schedule book. A missed client means missed money and an angry pimp.

She never did come back for the book, to my knowledge.

Note: This story contains a related photoset on Flickr. Check it out to view and comment on individual photos.

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Filed under: humor, photography on October 10th, 2005