I Was Going to Make Fun of Coldplay, but…

Written on December 16, 2005 at 1:05 pm, by Alfonso Surroca

I was just listening to Coldplay's big fat hit from yesteryear "Yellow" and realized it was ripe for rewriting as a song making fun of emo kids, since the words "yellow" and "emo" rhyme nicely, and it's got that soft, moody, lilting sound that might sound just like emo crap were its melody punked up a notch.

So, I looked at the lyrics to begin writing my spoof song, and by the time I was half way through, I realized that Chris Martin's unintelligible British moaning has covered up the fact that the lyrics to "Yellow" already are emo enough to make every rich kid in suburbia cry like a baby. It's a comically sappy love song with nearly every cliche in the book.

Warning: I may be breaking the law by posting this:

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

Apparently the stars shine especially for the person for whom this song was written. And Martin, bless his heart, has written this song for his nameless love, swam across something or other (presumably an ocean or through some kind of liquid, although the song doesn't specify), jumped across something else, and drawn a line, all in the name of this lucky nameless love! How absolutely romantic and heartwrenchingly beautiful!

Notice: For all those indie kids who have proclaimed Coldplay's latest outing X&Y a sell-out album, please read through the lyrics for the aforementioned song again very carefully and you'll realize that Coldplay were never the next Radiohead by any stretch of the imagination. They have been a platinum-selling pop group from day one.

technorati tags: coldplay, comedy, lyrics, music