my personal blog

March 9, 2006

Spinners of the Future!

Filed under: humor — Alfonso Surroca @ 4:55 am

A "spinner" wheel contains a spoke plate attached to the wheel's hub, which begins to spin using the kinetic energy generated by the vehicle's motion. Additionally, it is not uncommon for the outer spoke plate to be fixed so that even when the vehicle is moving, it remains stationary.

However, it requires time-consuming adjustments to switch between the two common modes. I have determined a method to essentially have the best of both worlds, wherein the spoke plate begins to move as soon as the vehicle stops for the original "spinner" effect, but immediately stops and becomes fixed as soon as the vehicle begins to move. The method is as follows:

When the vehicle is in motion, a servomechanical motor located near the hub of the wheel actuates a caliper to hold the outer spoke plate in place. At the same time, the centripetal force enacted by the spinning of the wheel is transferred and stored in a fuel cell located inside the hub. This energy is used to actuate a second servomechanical motor which begins spinning the outer spoke plate when the vehicle is in motion.

To detect with precision when the vehicle begins moving, a gyroscopic flywheel and a motion-detection sensor are located between the outer spoke plate and inner spokes of the wheel. This motion information, coded in binary, is transferred to a microcoded control unit located inside the wheel's hub. Using this binary motion information, this device regulates the distribution of the centripetal energy stored in the fuel cell.

The same system is in place in each of the vehicle's four wheels. Additionally, a control unit located inside the vehicle, adjacent to its engine control unit (ECU), contains a microsequencer which uses the data recieved from each of the four wheel's control units to synchronize the movement of the spoke plates. This is done to ensure that each spoke plate begins and stops spinning at precisely the same moment.

This system requires a "flash" upgrade of the vehicle's ECU with new microcoded software for the vehicle's computer to recognize it, lest the new circuitry and mechanisms generate a fault code in the vehicle's computer. Additionally, it requires four 20 ampere fuses to be placed in the engine area fuse box. Installation of this system is likely to void the manufacturer's warranty because it requires tampering with the vehicle's computer and electrical systems.

Please note: The preceding was written as a serious technical document. It is neither.

technorati tags: automotive, culture, humor, spinners

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