I’ve been job hunting lately, and writing a good cover letter is the most important thing you can do, but after writing them over and over again, the process becomes quite tiring. It’s no wonder so many people write lame letters from templates and get nothing. I thought it was time to make fun of cover letters. The result, after the jump.

Dear n00b Hiring Manager

I found your job posting via Simply Hired and was immediately excited because they use web2.0 AJAX tricks, unlike the other n00b sites like Monster. This tells me that you’re the right company for me because I’m totally 1337.

After doing a tracert on your e-mail a whois on your IP, I was able to track down exactly where your server is located and find your business’ address from that information. Then, I saw that you had already provided your address and phone number in the e-mail. So, I totally hax0red your work computer and d/l some unflattering photos of you involving two Asian men and a donkey, hax0red your home security system to call the cops in your name, and filled your home computer with trojanz and rootkits! OMG you’re such a n00b!

I hope that this proves that I am not a n00b and will totally pwn your whole I.T. department. I also pwn n00bs pretty much all day on WoW and will require a nice Voodo or Alienware rig with three 20″ (at
least) widescreen displays in my office.

I look forward to our interview this Monday at 10AM, so I already added it to your Google Calendar when I hax0red your account. Also, I added myself to the employee database, and made my salary $1 milion a year. LOLs! pwned!

Alfonso Surroca

P.S. I don’t gamble online. Your tubes are safe.

Filed under: humor, work on October 13th, 2006