So, a friend started drawing ghosts today and I thought they’d make a good comic. This is me putting my money (mouse?) where my mouth (Photoshop file?) is.

I have the following comments: 1. These folks couldn’t come up with a name that better represents their business? 2. Has anyone even said the word “webpage” after, say, 1997?

Business Week had the details on this change last month, and Brand New had a more snarky take—e.g. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

At least Walmart kept the capital; the same can’t be said for AT&T’s 2005 logo change. Hey, Walmart is working on being more environmentally friendly. All they have to do now is stop mistreating their employees, and destroying small-town America, and they just might back up their friendly new logo. In the same way that AT&T stopped being evil the moment they changed their logo. Oh, wait, never mind.

Here’s what Autobild came up with, seen just a few days ago at The German Car Blog:

Cool, so they basically started off with a bodykit-wearing MkV Golf/Rabbit, added the front end of the new Scirocco, and the rear tail lights from the Touareg and called it a day. Anyway, literally the next day, I see leaked photos of the MkVI Golf in the flesh on Autoblog. And a few more photos popped up on World Car Fans the day after that.

Now, as for the design, I’m happy to see Volkswagen’s design language taking a step back from gaudy chrome to the glory days of the MkIV generation. You might remember that as the generation that started with the then-iPod of cars, the New Beetle, and basically brought Volkswagen from a near-defunct brand in the US to its former yuppie glory practically overnight. Basically, I’m already sold on the design.

At any rate, I decided to start looking for a set of specs that suit me, and decided to use the internet the same way I do when making any purchase—check out reviews, compare specs, look for deals, etc. I’m just fine going to blogs for tech info, furniture info, etc., but eyeglasses? Clothing and accessories are a new frontier; everything I wear came with a Target price tag.

Innocently enough, I started by typing glasses.com. Which promptly redirected me to 1-800 Contacts. Well played, 1-800 Contacts, well played. Next, even though the term made me want to puke, I googled “where can I find fashionable eyeglasses?” and basically ended up with LensCrafters and Amazon.com listings. Damn, I could’ve thought of that without Google’s help.

The thing I like about eyeglasses: they’re the only item where the price disparity between no-name, brand name, and designer brand is next to nothing. No-names? Under $100. Ray-Ban? Oakley? $150-$200. Dolce & Gabbana? Burberry? Ferragamo, Prada? $200-$250. And then there’s the issue about insurance covering a good percentage on frames.

And in conclusion, these are the two frames I kind of settled on, after my exhaustive (15 minute) search. Kind of partial to the Burberry specs at the bottom for the Gordon Freeman look….

First off, the plot is really thin, and the payoff is too family-friendly. In other words, yes WALL-E saves the day, and no, he doesn’t sacrifice himself for the good of humanity; and yes, he gets the “girl”, er, robot. In the future, Earth is so filled with garbage that humanity leaves Earth on what are essentially giant cruise ships in space, while WALL-E and the rest of the garbage-bots clean the planet. Fast forward some seven-hundred years: humanity remained on their ship all this time and forgot about returning to Earth because it was deemed uninhabitable.

This is the part of the plot that I’m totally OK with. The first act of the movie was fantastic: the sad way WALL-E went about his programming day in and day out forever, and without purpose set the bar pretty high. Then, he meets his “love interest” EVE and they save the day. The end. Lame.

Enter the 2001-esque version…

One of the reasons 2001: A Space Odyssey endures as a classic is its difficult, vague, open-ended plot. Kubrick never quite explained what happened, and left it up to the audience, but in a nut-shell, it did have something to do with death and rebirth. After all, you can never go wrong with allegorical tales representing death and rebirth, right?

So, in my attempt to turn WALL-E into a brilliant sci-fi epic, WALL-E and EVE get to humanity’s cruise ship, but what they find is scores of robots “living” out the same lives WALL-E has back on Earth: silently following their pre-programmed routines day in and day out forever. In my take, as the ship was meant to be away for only 5 years, humanity died out centuries ago. Yes, humanity is extinct, its only memory encoded into the data banks of the ship’s computer.

And so ends the second act. WALL-E has brought along a single living plant which he found back on Earth, proving that life can continue there. WALL-E, EVE, and the rogue robot cast they meet during their adventure through the ship, face off against the ship’s computer, Auto, which has been programmed never to return to Earth under any circumstance. Because it is programmed, it’s not really evil, but it serves as the film’s de-facto villain. Let’s just cast Auto as WALL-E’s HAL-9000.

With the ship’s computer dispatched, the robots take control of the ship and set it on a course to Earth. WALL-E is damaged from the fight with the ship’s computer and in bad shape. As soon as the ship gets to Earth, EVE rushes to get WALL-E repaired, but the damage is presumably too extensive, and WALL-E powers down. The robots are able to use a fail-safe mechanism built into the ship that begins terraforming the planet—and he ship is destroyed in the process, and with it, any memory of humanity’s existence.

Thus, the crew of robots are left on Earth, and as centuries pass, life begins anew, with the robots as the stewards of the new Earth. In an ending the film hinted at, but didn’t go through with, EVE finally finds the parts to repair WALL-E, but with his memory erased, WALL-E becomes the mindless automaton he was originally, and continues his pre-programmed tasks. The film ends as it began, except instead of WALL-E roaming towers of refuse, we now see a beautiful prehistoric world.

There we have it: the extinction of humanity, a hero’s self-sacrifice, and the rebirth of life. No easy answers, and a bittersweet ending. That’s all WALL-E needed to go beyond movie of the year, to become an absolute classic.

Don’t fail America again.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
I’d rather be in New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Miami, Seattle, Chicago, Atlanta, Outer Space, or The Fifth Dimension, in no particular order.

How long can you go without your mobile phone?
The talk function? Forever. The IM function? For 0 seconds.

Who did you last call babe/baby?
Baby Yoshi. Pfft, obviosly. What kind of a question is that?

What time did you go to sleep last night?
The time when people presumably like calling the POTUS with national emergencies, according to that old Hillary Clinton ad….

What/who woke you up today?
Sunlight? That’s not nearly interesting enough, so I’ll make something up: An army of giant robots farting sonic booms in the sky woke me up. It was annoying.

Do you own a polo shirt?
Yeah, one with Trogdor on it. Do I wear it? No. Will I wear it after I’ve lost 20 lbs? Yes.

How old do you look?
I dunno, you tell me.

Where are your siblings?
Somewhere on Planet Earth, presumably.

What are you going to do after this?
Either something amazingly awesome comes up, or I’ll just mow my lawn with the new weed whacker I got (that’s exciting, for yuppies).

Whose car were you in last?
Mine. And, yes, God was my co-pilot. He’s way better at giving directions than TomTom, too.

What was the last thing you drank?
Green tea with a microphone drawn on the outside of the cup.

Would you marry the last person you kissed?
I can’t remember who that is, so I cannot comment on whether or not I consider this person to be marriage material. I can, however (at your request) furnish you with a list of people who are.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?
“GTFO I’m playing video games!”

If it was free and it would work would you get plastic surgery?
Haven’t you heard? Plastic is bad for the environment, or something. I think God gets pissed if you use too much of it. That’s why he periodically makes breast implants explode. Also, because he’s got a great sense of humor, and exploding breast implants are hilarious. And deadly. But, more hilarious than deadly. Even though they’re very deadly.

If you were to die today would your life be complete?
Seeing as it would have come to an end, then, yes, temporally, it would be complete. Oh, are you talking about accomplishing goals and shit like that? Then WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY SO?

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
I believe everyone deserves a second chance at sucking. Cos it’s hilarious.

How do you handle stress?
I punch it in the face. Because I’m awesome.

Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad?
They’re both there at the same time anyway.

When was the last time you ran into your most recent ex?
Like, literally? That’s stupid. Why would I do that?

Do you think you’re approachable?
I go out of my way to be an asshole.

What is the last concert you went to?
I think it as Mindless Self-Indulgence. Also, I’ve got to pee now.

The last person you argued with?
The robot voice in my head.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Did you know that leaving the A/C on all day during hot weather is much less damaging to the environment than heating your home in a very cold climate? Also, did you know that cold climates are miserable, where warm climates such as Florida are filled with beaches and celebrities and Lamborghinis? Yes, I prefer warm weather.

Is any part of your body sore?
How about hair folicles?

Do you commit to anything?
I commit to awesomeness, every day.

The funniest person you know?
It’s pretty much a toss-up between me and everyone I know, because I try to associate with only the funniest, awesomest people ever.

Do you like change?
When changing out corrupt politicians who are a disgrace to our country for hopeful young idealists, yes.

Do you get offended easily?
If I did, I’d be offended by myself, and that would be awkward.

Do you have a piggy bank?
Yes, it’s called Bank of America. They’re the biggest pig in the fucking world.

Have you ever punched a girl?
I’m not a redneck.

Slept in a different bed lately?
Nope. Maybe later?

Where is your mother right now?
Home?

What was your childhood nickname?
Oh, just some unpronouncable symbol.

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you?
Yes! But only if someone awesome packed up and left with me!

Can you take a bra off with one hand?
Practice makes perfect.

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed?
How am I going to remember who the hell that is? I don’t have space for useless information like that in my brain; need more room for sweet trivia!

Do people underestimate you?
Probably. Then they regret it.

Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?
It’s kind of impossible.

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
I dunno, a cape?

Can you make yourself cry?
See answer for question two spots above.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Fuck yeah! First I’d travel forward in time and pick up some kickass cyborgs, then bring them to prehistoric time and watch them fight the dinosaurs. Then, I’d go back to 2008 and see how the existence of prehistoric cyborgs has changed history. Probably for the better.

Have you ever been too drunk to remember anything?
No way! I don’t want to be taken advantage of :-o

Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
Does ANYONE know anyone who lives in Wyoming?

Have you ever been white water rafting?
Has ANYONE ever been white water rafting? OK, that doesn’t work so well for this question. Anyway, no, but I have been on a Slip N Slide before. Partial credit?

Do you think you would make a good parent?
OMG the best EVER! First, however, I need a couple years of “yuppie couple in swanky modern apartment in hip urban environment” lifestyle… anyone care to join me? I just need to pay off some debt and then incur some more at IKEA and I’m kind of set.

What is your current place of employment?
It’s a matter of galactic security, sorry :(

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
In jest? Always. For real? No.

Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it?
Actually, I lent my lawn mower to Jesus Christ once, and he still hasn’t returned it. He keeps using the excuse that if he comes back to Earth to give it back, it will be the second coming and herald the end of days and it’s not the right time yet, or some BS like that. What, he can turn water into wine, but he has to borrow MY fucking lawn mower?

[23:03] asurroca: [...] I gave you a secret code valid for a prize of a free iPod Touch, Nintendo Wii, or Xbox 360, if you just enter the code, answer whether or not Bush should be fired, and enter your birthdate, credit card info, and social security number

[23:03] asurroca: so you pretty much missed out bigtime

[23:03] Kate: fuck.

[23:03] asurroca: yup, sorry

[23:04] asurroca: I went ahead and entered the info myself

[23:04] asurroca: so I’m going to get some sweet new gear for FREE!

[23:04] asurroca: brb checking bank acct

[23:06] asurroca: holy SHIT! My credit cards are maxed out and my bank accts are drained! How could this have happened?!?!?!??!